What do we know about holding on to frustrations that linger, annoyances that grow and anger that simmers constantly? We know about disease, illness and symptoms that multiply and divide. We know that silence is not good. It is not always in our best interest to be seen and not heard.
PEOPLE TALKING WITHOUT SPEAKING
PEOPLE HEARING WITHOUT LISTENING
Robotic is not living. It is not being invested in what is going on around you. There are situations we cannot change, people we cannot fix but always we have choices. There are people that we can engage and speak our thoughts and feelings. Listening to understand and connect is different from just hearing someone talk.
PEOPLE WRITING SONGS THAT VOICES NEVER
SHARE AND NO ONE DARED
DISTURB THE SOUND OF SILENCE
So we visit our doctors and take our pills, 3 pills turns into 5, into 8. We feel terrible. The tests reveal more toxicity at work in our bodies. We drink 12 beers now instead of 6. When we are asked what happened to us to cause so much conflict, people are caught off guard. “You mean you want to know about terrible things that happened to me, pain that I have never talked about. You mean the times I saw my mom beaten by her boyfriends, living in our car because we had no home, taking care of my sisters because my dad was drinking and tearing the house apart?
HEAR MY WORDS THAT I MIGHT TEACH YOU
TAKE MY ARMS THAT I MIGHT REACH YOU
We do not have to accept the disease model of life. Facing our realities, our fears, our traumas and talking about them can change us. Finding solace and companionship in healthy communities can change us. People can be transformed by using their voice. The goal is not to change people or situations that cannot be changed. That wastes our time. The goal is to change us from diseased people into people fully living our lives.
Move away from silence. Write your song and share it. Disturb the sound of silence.
(The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel)
Vicki L Mayfield, M.Ed., R.N., LMFT Marriage and Family Therapy Oklahoma City
If you would like to send a question to Vicki, email us at [email protected]