Q. I recently attended a 2 day conference on yoga for emotional trauma. Compassion was discussed at length. The following is information on compassion that is meant to enlighten.
A. Individuals who work in health care administer to suffering people on a daily basis, either emotionally, physically or both. Compassion is experienced and kindness is rendered as a result of their suffering. It is also important for health care providers to self administer compassion. We can learn to be there for ourselves in increasingly compassionate ways.
If we step back for a moment, let go of our compassion for others and focus on ourselves, we may have wounds that have not been soothed. It can be difficult for the care giver to GIVE TO OTHERS when their own wounds are untreated.
How many times has someone asked you, “Is something wrong?” and you say, “nothing.” What would happen if you said, “I hurt.” (depending on your trust level with this person). It is unrealistic to think we can continue providing compassion to others when we are in desperate need ourselves.
Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same loving kindness that you extend to a beloved child. Can you think of someone in your life who extended compassion to you? Do you remember how that felt? Experiences of compassion live on in memory, and recalling personal stories of receiving compassion reminds us of the power of compassion and shows us how to be compassionate with ourselves.
The following are some compassionate statements that we can say and behaviors that we can engage in to bring more authenticity to our lives:
1. I am enough. 2. I have value and worth. 3. Breathe in kindness, breathe out love. 4. I hurt. 5. I am loved. 6. I am God’s child.
1. Develop friendships with people who share your energy. 2. Have someone in your life that you can say, “I am drained.” 3. Stop and feel. 4. Then feel and be still. 5. Learn to be with you. 6. Be able to know when you need compassion. 7. Stop negative words.
“No one deserves compassion more than you.”
The Dalai Lama
Vicki L Mayfield, M.Ed., R.N., LMFT Marriage and Family Therapy Oklahoma City
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