ASK VICKI: Q. I recently heard the phrase, “lets commit more random acts of kindness.”

Q. I recently heard the phrase, “lets commit more random acts of kindness.” I think kindness has a special impact on people, it can literally turn their day and sometimes life, around. So how can we get the word out for more kindness?
— Lisa

A. There can never to too much kindness!! Think about the last time someone smiled at you, gave you a compliment, held the door open for you. I have a person who offices in my building who surprises me with flowers that she grows in her garden. It is a special moment to open the door and see the beautiful flowers on the table.
Kindness and concern for others is superb medicine, better than anything big pharma sells. As our lives get busier and schedules tighter, there is less time to make time for others. But just like we clean out our closets, maybe taking that same “kindness” inventory would be useful and healthy.
Kindness doesn’t need to take a lot of time. It can happen spontaneously. It can be a smile as you pass in the hall or calling the Target cashier by their name and thanking them for checking you out. Did you know that saying the person’s name also adds kindness to the interaction? “Thank you John for checking me out, have a good day.” It’s not that hard.
We have seen some of the catastrophic affects of bullying, a total lack of kindness and concern.
In the recent school shooting at Santa Fe High school in Texas, the shooter said he spared the lives of the people who were “nice to him.”
How much of societies isolation and depression could be lifted with acts of kindness? There is a tremendous amount of loneliness and despair; people are suffering.
In the recent shooting at Louie’s by the lake, in Okla. City, the shooter, in his video, stated no one was listening to him, he was lonely and needed help.
Kindness, alone, cannot prevent horrible acts from happening, but a common theme in many of these individuals is bullying, loneliness, sadness, despair, anger.
Kindness is appreciated by everyone.
As you go about your day, ask yourself if you have given the gift of kindness. Lets increase our awareness. Lise can’t do this all by herself.

Vicki L Mayfield, M.Ed., R.N., LMFT Marriage and Family Therapy Oklahoma City

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