Q. Have you ever wondered why people don’t become more proactive and change some of the stress in their lives? I see people all the time whose lives could have more quality if they would make some life changes. I feel powerless to say anything, because it seems so obvious. Any ideas?
Monica
A. This is one of the best questions ever!!!
We are powerless to assist other people to make changes. Totally powerless!!! People will make changes when they are ready or they may choose to never make them.
It may lie in the motivation. Will the alcoholic stop drinking after the fourth DUI or will it take a fifth and a motor vehicle accident taking the life of an innocent person? Will the stressed out workaholic stop working so much or change to a less stressful job after a heart attack?
Will the overweight person put on their tennis shoes and walk a few blocks every evening if their doctor says diabetic medicine could be prevented if they lost 20 pounds? Will the person with IBS or other digestive disorders change their nutrition to prevent painful symptoms?
Will the female in an abusive, stressful relationship realize how much more she is losing than gaining and leave the relationship? Or the male who is in love with the female who has created more drama on an almost constant basis but makes excuses for her behavior, while he is slowly losing himself?
The examples are endless.
When I was a manager I went from excellent health at the beginning to testing for Lupus at the almost three year mark. I had joint pain, extreme fatigue and absolutely no self time. As the symptoms progressed I was encouraged to go to the doctor, which I finally did. He tested me and thankfully I did not have lupus but he said my symptoms were descriptive of lupus.
I will never forget our conversation before I left his office. He got out his prescription pad and wrote the following:
1. DON’T TAKE WORK HOME 2. DON’T SAY LATE 3. DON’T COME IN EARLY
I thought it was a joke, only he was not laughing!!. It was not a prescription for a drug, it was for a life change. Oh, he also said something else. “If you don’t learn how to deal with this stress better, you will die and someone else will raise your 4 year old daughter.”
That was what stayed with me. I would die and not be with my daughter!!! There was no job that I was going to die for!!!!
That was MY motivation………what will be yours??
