ASK VICKI: It’s almost 2019 and those New Years Resolutions are being made……….

It’s almost 2019 and those New Years Resolutions are being made………. to be broken! So why don’t we skip them this year and decide on more realistic goals. Lets take inventory and find something we can work on to get healthier, have more meaningful relationships and feel less guilt. So here goes……

First lets look at the verbiage we use that sets us up for failure. Lets replace the following words with the new 2019 words for success:
Old – Exercise
New – Movement
Lets stop making all those overinflated exercise plans that might last 2 weeks, usually involves expensive equipment, gym memberships, fitness classes, and wake up times at 0500 when 0700 is your wake up time. Failure is screaming your name.
Old – Confrontation
New – Uncomfortable communication
Does anyone really like confrontation?? (No hands raise!) But how is it possible to be in a relationship and not have “uncomfortable” issues that arise. If you try to avoid topics that are unpleasant, even anger provoking, they will NOT magically disappear. The more you run, the more they follow.
Old – Diet
New – Healthy choices
Does deprivation really sound like something fun? That’s what diet means……depriving ourselves of something we like. What if we said, “I am going to decrease the amount of times I eat fast food, replacing with a home cooked meal. I am going to find new recipes and enjoy eating healthy food. But please NO DIETS!!! Worst word ever!!!!!
Old – Should
New – Could
“I should have gone to bed earlier so I wouldn’t be so tired.”
“I should have made that doctor’s appointment.”
So how do you feel after making these statements? Guilty? That would be my guess.
“I could have gone to bed earlier so I wouldn’t be so tired.”
“I could have made that doctor’s appointment.”
Feel less guilty and more in control of your choices? That’s the idea!!
Happy New Year 2019!!

Vicki L Mayfield, M.Ed., R.N., LMFT Marriage and Family Therapy Oklahoma City

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